Breaking the Silence: Mental Health Support for Men in High-Stress Situations
Even if you don’t subscribe to the narrow definition of what it means to be an alpha male, there’s no denying that society still places certain expectations on how men are supposed to behave, particularly when it comes to showing emotion or vulnerability.
Unfortunately, when it comes to supporting men’s mental health, the overemphasis on “toughing it out” can leave many men without the help they need. And ignoring early signs of depression in men could actually result in serious mental illness.
Mental health care can be a tool to help you sharpen your focus, manage stress better, and reclaim the energy and patience you need to thrive. This isn’t about simply talking through hard feelings—it’s about growing into the kind of man who leads by example, who balances strength with openness, and who builds a life that feels meaningful and connected. By embracing support, you’re investing in your future self—more present, more fulfilled, and more capable of handling whatever comes your way.
Why mental health looks different in men
On paper, it might appear that men are faring better than women when it comes to the rates of mental illness. According to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), the observed prevalence of any mental illness over the previous year was higher among females (26.4%) than males (19.7%) in 2022. Similarly, just over 7% of females experienced a serious mental illness over the past year, in comparison to nearly 5% of males. However, that same year, male deaths accounted for nearly 80% of suicides in America.2
Why men don’t seek help
Many men are choosing to forgo treatment due to the stigma around mental health.
This stigma can be fueled by misperceptions about what it means to live with a mental illness, as well as a sense of shame or embarrassment about what they are experiencing. If you're surrounded by men in your workplace, it can be easy to avoid talking about issues like mental health since few people want to be perceived as weak or unable to perform under pressure.
Unfortunately, when left unchecked, what can appear to be anger and irritability in men, can devolve into worsening depression or anxiety, substance use, and potentially death by suicide.4
How stress affects men’s mental health
Ask any doctor and they’ll tell you that high levels of stress aren’t good for either your mental or physical health. The human body has natural responses to stress that can help deal with momentary instances where a person experiences a threat. “But when stressors are always present and you always feel under attack, that fight-or-flight reaction stays turned on,” the Mayo Clinic explains. And chronic stress can actually disrupt the body’s ability to function properly, leading to a range of health problems, including burnout, anxiety, and depression.5
Telling men to manage their stress levels is easier said than done, especially if they experience outsized demands and pressure. For example, men working in the construction industry may encounter a number of daily stressors on the job, including insufficient safety equipment or culture, high workloads, physical pain and injury, aging concerns, and inadequate financial compensation.6
Unsurprisingly, more than 15% of workers in this industry experience anxiety or depression. However, these aren’t momentary feelings of sadness that workers can brush off; there are serious implications to what they are experiencing. In 2021, more than five times as many construction workers died by suicide—about 5,200 deaths overall—as by fatal work injuries. In fact, construction workers accounted for about 1 in 7 people aged 16 to 64 who died by suicide in 2022.7
Talking about mental health isn’t just about managing pain or getting through tough times—it’s about unlocking a fuller, stronger version of yourself. Imagine a life where you can bring your whole self to your work, your family, and your friendships without carrying the weight alone. When you connect honestly with others, including showing vulnerability, you build resilience, trust, and deeper bonds that actually make you stronger—not weaker.
Signs it might be time to get support
It’s not just men refusing to seek out treatment that can exacerbate mental health conditions. Some men simply don’t recognize when they may be experiencing a problem.
It’s true that many of the concerning mental health symptoms in men and women for different conditions may mirror each other. You may know to be on the lookout for feelings of sadness, emptiness, and hopelessness or for difficulty sleeping and getting through the typical activities that are part of your daily schedule. These are common symptoms of mental health conditions regardless of gender.
What not to say to someone suicidal:
- “But you have so much to live for.”
- “It’s not that bad.”
- “You just need to snap out of it.”
- “Others have it worse.”
These kinds of statements, even if meant to encourage, can feel dismissive or shaming. Helpful alternatives include:
- “I’m really sorry you’re feeling this way."
- "You’re not alone.”
- “It makes sense that you feel overwhelmed given everything you’ve been carrying.”
Experts recommend avoiding arguments, judgments, or language that downplays someone’s pain.⁴ Instead, try supportive listening, which means staying calm, showing empathy, and validating the person’s emotions — even if you don’t fully understand what they’re going through. And remember, you don’t need perfect words — just a caring tone and a commitment to showing up.
Safety first: When someone is in immediate danger
What to do if someone tells you they are suicidal? Stay calm. Listen with care. Don’t leave them alone, and contact 988 or 911 if there’s immediate danger. Your steady presence can make all the difference.
But there are specific symptoms of depression in men that are unique to their experiences. The Mayo Clinic highlights some concerning behaviors to lookout for including:8
- Avoidance of duties and escapist behavior
- Recklessness and unnecessary risk taking
- Interpersonal conflict with family members
- Escalating anger and irritability
- Potential violence or abuse
- Misuse of substances like alcohol
- Physical problems with digestion, headaches, and pain
Understanding the differences in how a mental health condition manifests in men can play an important role in ensuring that conditions are diagnosed properly and that the right treatments are provided.
Taking care of yourself: How to support men’s mental health
Stress symptoms in men shouldn’t be overlooked or ignored; they need to be addressed. What can seem like everyday grumpiness or withdrawal could signal a larger issue if those symptoms persist every day.
If you are concerned about a friend or loved one, provide opportunities to them where they can openly and honestly share their struggles. Try to make them feel comfortable by providing a judgment-free environment in which you are actively listening, without necessarily trying to solve their problems on the spot. Learn about which barriers might prevent them seeking professional help if it is necessary and find the avenues to care that make the most sense to the specific person.
And if you yourself are struggling, remember that there is support that understands men’s experiences. Don’t feel like you have to go it alone, because mental health challenges are a normal part of being human and being a man. There are people who know what you are going through, who have experienced what you are going through, and who are willing to help.
Mental health care for men: 5 tips that work as hard as you do
Breaking the stigma around living with a mental health condition can be a tall task. It involves changing deeply ingrained cultural norms around both masculinity and mental health. To encourage help-seeking behavior in men, it can be important for people to see others who are living openly with a mental health diagnosis. Remember, half of the world’s population will experience a mental health disorder in their lifetime, so it is completely normal to go through hard times.6 It should therefore also be normal to seek out help.
Still, making the leap from acknowledging you are suffering to signing up for treatment can be daunting for some people. But there is no perfect approach for finding the appropriate help. Just like in any strong team, we do our best when we work together and look out for each other. Taking care of your mental health is part of being your best—for yourself and those around you. There are resources and people ready to help you navigate these tough times.
Take smaller steps if you need to, like:
Talking to a trusted friend.
It may be helpful just to verbalize that you are struggling. Friends often know you best, so they may be able to validate your experiences or even point out some concerns that you are blind to.
Using a helpline.
While you shouldn’t feel embarrassed about sharing your mental or emotional struggles with the people you are closest to, it’s human to feel uncomfortable. Helplines that allow you to call or text with a support service anonymously can solve for that issue. They can also be a great place to turn to if you are feeling isolated.
Taking an at-home assessment.
If you are struggling mentally, it could be a good idea to use an online assessment tool to identify whether there is need for follow-up. These tools aren’t perfect and shouldn’t replace a diagnosis from an actual practitioner, but they can help give you a sense of the seriousness of your condition.
Signing up for a single session.
It's OK to dip your toes into therapy. Speaking with a mental health practitioner can help you better understand the type of support they offer, the goals that they can help you work toward accomplishing, and the journey that they can take with you. But, you’re not obligated to return if you feel that it’s not what you need.
Exploring alternative support programs for men.
Therapy isn’t the only option available to you. Gender-specific programs like more informal peer-led organizations can provide safe spaces for working through issues like male loneliness, burnout in men, and stress management for men. Sometimes, being in a community is all you need; just make sure to find a community rooted in positive values.
Want more resources?
If you’re looking for some tools that you can use today, Psych Hub has a number of resources you may find helpful:
- Learn about different mental health challenges with our educational resources on stress, anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, trauma, and addiction.
- Explore our suicide prevention hub which includes an explainer on suicidal ideation and a resource on how to support someone with suicidal thoughts. However, if you are experiencing suicidal thoughts, don’t wait to ask for help. Call or text 988 to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.
- Watch our video explaining how to develop a safety plan when you are experiencing a mental health crisis or use our downloadable guide.
- Use our ”Find a Therapist” checklist to identify the considerations you should think through when searching for gender-specific mental health care for men.
If you are ready to find a therapist, Psych Hub makes it easy to search for gender-sensitive mental health services. In just five minutes, you can complete our well-being assessment which will help guide you to potential care options.
This brief questionnaire allows you to choose whether you have a preference on the gender of the provider, whether you would like to seek care in person or online, and what types of challenges you are seeking help for. It will then give you a list of potential options that match your location, language, and insurance carrier, so that you can swiftly sign up and start getting the treatment you need.
FAQs
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