How to Help Someone Who is Having Suicidal Thoughts: Talk, Act, Follow Up
Suicidal thoughts are complex. They don’t always look the way we expect, and it may be hard for people experiencing these thoughts to ask for help. But your support can make a life-saving difference.
This guide offers practical steps, compassionate language, and tools you can use right now to support a loved one in crisis.
Recognize the suicide warning signs
Most people who are experiencing suicidal thoughts show some signs, though they’re not always obvious. Learning what to look for can help you step in early and help someone in crisis.
Behavioral signs may include:
- Withdrawing from loved ones or social activities
- Giving away valued possessions
- Increased use of alcohol or drugs
- Sleeping too much or too little
- Searching online for suicide-related content
- Acting recklessly or aggressively
Emotional and verbal signs may include:
- Expressions of hopelessness, shame, or feeling like a burden
- Saying things like “I wish I could disappear” or “I can’t take this anymore”
- Dramatic mood swings, especially from despair to sudden calm
- Talking or writing about death, dying, or self-harm
Some individuals, particularly men in high-stress or high-stigma environments (like shift work, the military, or blue-collar jobs), may mask distress with irritability, substance use, or overwork.¹
Download and share our “Know the Signs” cheat sheet, a visual guide to suicide warning signs that’s designed to be printed or saved to your phone.
What to say: Open the conversation with care
Knowing how to talk about suicide can feel intimidating, but it’s one of the most important things you can do. In fact, asking directly about suicidal thoughts can be the first step toward hope and healing. According to SAMHSA, asking someone if they’re thinking about suicide can actually reduce their distress and help them feel less alone.²
You might say:
- “You’ve seemed really down lately, and I’m worried about you. Are you thinking about suicide?”
- “Sometimes when people feel overwhelmed, they think about ending their life. Has that happened to you?”
It’s okay to feel nervous. What matters most is showing up with empathy and emotional support. Don’t try to fix it right away or rush to solutions. Just listen. Use short, compassionate phrases like:
- “I hear you.”
- “That sounds incredibly hard.”
- “Thank you for telling me.”
Knowing how to support someone with suicidal thoughts starts with empathy. Ask directly and try listening without judgement. Small acts of presence can be deeply impactful.³
Learn more about suicidal ideation, prevention strategies, and how to help people in crisis, by checking out “Suicide Prevention Starts with Understanding: Signs, Support, and Hope.”
...And what not to say
Even well-meaning responses can land the wrong way if they invalidate someone’s experience or imply blame.
Avoid phrases like:
- “But you have so much to live for.”
- “It’s not that bad.”
- “You just need to snap out of it.”
- “Others have it worse.”
These kinds of statements, even if meant to encourage, can feel dismissive or shame-inducing. Instead, try:
- “I’m really sorry you’re feeling this way."
- "You’re not alone.”
- “It makes sense that you feel overwhelmed given everything you’ve been carrying.”
Experts recommend avoiding arguments, judgments, or language that downplays someone’s pain.⁴ Instead, try supportive listening, which means staying calm, showing empathy, and validating the person’s emotions — even if you don’t fully understand what they’re going through.
Let compassion lead the way. You don’t need perfect words, just a caring tone and a commitment to showing up.
Safety first: When someone is in immediate danger
What to do if someone tells you they are suicidal?
- Stay calm
- Call 911 or the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline
- Stay with them, or ensure someone they trust can stay until help arrives
- Remove access to lethal means, like firearms, medications, or sharp objects
Your steady presence can make all the difference.
Don’t assume they’ll be okay on their own. Acting quickly, even if it feels uncomfortable, can prevent a tragedy. For people who live in households with firearms, experts recommend storing guns unloaded and locked away, with ammunition stored separately.⁵
Make a safety plan with your provider
Once the immediate danger has passed, it’s important to connect with a mental health expert to make a safety plan together: a clear, step-by-step guide for what to do in moments of crisis. This plan gives both you and your loved one something concrete to turn to if things get difficult again. Creating a safety plan also reduces the risk of future suicide attempts and increases the likelihood of seeking help.⁷
A good safety plan includes:
- Warning signs
- Coping strategies
- Supportive contacts
- Safe spaces
- Ways to get professional help
If you’re wondering how to be there for someone beyond the initial conversation, this is one of the most supportive steps you can take. Use Psych Hub’s downloadable safety plan template to walk through the process together. It can help everyone feel more prepared, connected, and equipped to face difficult moments.
Encourage professional help — and stay involved
While friends and family are crucial, professional support is often necessary to help someone in crisis, especially when depression and suicidal thoughts are both present.
If you’re wondering how to help someone who is suicidal and depressed, therapy can be a vital step. It addresses both immediate risk and the underlying emotional pain that may be contributing to suicidal ideation. Therapists can also help treat co-occurring conditions like depression or PTSD, which may contribute to suicidal ideation.
Encourage therapy for suicidal ideation gently but clearly. You might say:
- “I think talking to a therapist could really help. Would you be open to looking together?”
- “It might feel intimidating, but you don’t have to do it alone. I can help you find someone.”
Psych Hub can help people find a therapist or mental health professional based on their needs, preferences, and identities, including providers who specialize in therapy for suicide prevention. Many offer next-day availability.
Following up: Staying connected after crisis
Let the person know you’ll check in again — and mean it. Following up after a crisis is one of the simplest and most effective ways to show you care. People are often most vulnerable after a suicidal episode or hospitalization⁸ and ongoing connection can make a big difference.
You don’t need long conversations. Even short, consistent outreach helps:
- Text: “Thinking about you today. Want to talk?”
- Call: “Just checking in. How’s your day going?”
- Invite: “Want to grab lunch or go for a walk this week?”
If they’re open to it, set recurring check-ins. A daily text or weekly call can offer structure and help reduce feelings of isolation over time.
Take care of yourself, too
It’s brave to support someone through suicidal thoughts, and it’s also emotionally demanding. You might feel helpless, anxious, or overwhelmed. That’s normal.
Being there for someone else doesn’t mean ignoring your own needs. To provide meaningful and sustainable support for mental health allies, it’s important to care for your own well-being, too. Don’t forget to:
- Set boundaries when needed
- Take time to rest and recharge
- Talk to a therapist or mental health coach yourself
When someone you care about is struggling with suicidal thoughts, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed or unsure. But you don’t have to be perfect — just being there can make all the difference.
Your presence matters more than your words. Simply showing up, listening with compassion, and helping someone take the next step can be a lifeline.
Psych Hub’s Mental Health Ally Certification is a great way to deepen your skills and learn how to support others without burning out.Enter some text...FAQs
What should I do if someone tells me they are having suicidal thoughts?
How can I help someone who is suicidal over text?
How can someone stop suicidal thoughts?
What are three major causes of suicidal thoughts?
Which of the following are warning signs of suicidal thoughts?
Sources
Related Resources
Struggling with stress, burnout, or depression? Learn the signs of men’s mental health issues, and get practical tools and support to take the next step.
Learn the warning signs of suicide, how to support someone in crisis, and what evidence-based treatments are available. You're not alone — help is here.
Losing someone to suicide is heartbreaking. Learn how to cope with suicide grief, find support groups, and begin healing in your own time. You're not alone.
Join the 30 million people who've turned to Psych Hub for mental health guidance.
